Vicious Circle

I'm going to see Him today. I feel something strange every time I have to meet him and of course u know the reason.
Yesterday I realised that if I see him, I rationalised my relationship with him, understanding he is just a man, not the perfect man I've always waited for. But if I don't meet him, If his presence is only in my thoughts, I idealised him. But how to solve this situation? I can't see him often, it would go worse: I would smile 24 hours a day, with no reason!
I don't really know what to do